four letter words

i thought i could describe
my feelings for you
in four letters
but then i started thinking…
it sure as hell isn’t
like
although i do like you
which is different than
love
and in some ways
better
like
is a choice
genuine
you can love someone
and not like them
but baby,
i like you
and i guess since i mentioned it
i might as well throw it out there
love
i know this tops the list
of things we do not say
the one we dance around
like fire
(which is another appropriate
four letter word
for us)
warming our hands by it
but never getting too close
to the flame
well, i don’t care if i get burned
because god,
i fell
(don’t pretend you didn’t know)
but there, i said it
unequivocally
(which is more than four letters)
and it’s not one of those things
that i planned
it wasn’t slow coming
or all at once
it just
was…
is…
moving on…
(i’m sure right now
you’re picturing my
downcast brown eyes
avoiding contact and
cheeks
flushed pink
with embarrassment)
the next obvious choice:
lust
which both
is and isn’t
the case
i actually looked this word up
in a dictionary
(i know, i know
you don’t have to say it)
lust, noun

  1. intense sexual desire (check)
  2. uncontrollable sexual appetite (check)
  3. strong excessive craving (check)

i don’t know
is it just me
or does even this word
lust
seem in some way, not good enough
the list goes on…
drug
you are my greatest addiction
my constant need
muse
     my inspiration
the driving force behind
this (and every) poem
want
see, lust
true
    this one needs no explanation
nothing has ever been more true
and this is just to name a few
somehow
i am working with
the same twenty-six letters
as Shakespeare
and Neruda
yet i can’t seem to put together
anything as beautiful
or even halfway
adequate
for you
and while you are not only
every word that i write
but also the spaces
in between
no combination of letters
can describe
the sound of your voice
or the color of your eyes
there are no words
i can string together
to explain the feelings i get
when you run your fingers
inside my thigh

April 15, 2016

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