ways

I love you in
stanzas and lines
with words that don’t rhyme
and i’s I forget to dot
I love you on the paper
hidden away in a notebook
that my pen dances across
through metaphors and wordplay

I love you in the shape of a star
just not the five-pointed kind
rather
constellations
like the ones you trace on my skin
connecting freckles
and goose bumps

I love you quietly
and loudly
in gasps and moans
racing heart beats
and trembling hands
that are held together above my head
through hushed orgasms
that crash with the frequency
of waves

I love you in secret smiles
you’ll never see
and breaths that catch
in my throat
as I read your words of desire
in a crowded room

I love you with my
hair a little messier
lace a little wetter
and heart a little fuller

 

February 23, 2017

why

sometimes i think
on the cruelty of this world
where we have found a love
but cannot love
and how strange it is
that i almost instinctively
reach out and grab your hand
but have to catch myself
and casually brush your arm
instead
and how i want to kiss you goodbye
but have to do so with a hidden glance
hoping you can read
the look in my eyes
it seems all a bad joke
that we have traveled this far
only to finally find each other
now
but then when i really think
     about
          us
i think that maybe the universe is not
conspiring against us
maybe what we have discovered
is so powerful
so all consuming
that it’s only safe
in small doses
and that if we were to love
out in the open
we would literally consume
all of the passion
in the world
as if there were a finite amount
or i question that maybe
what if each life
is only allowed
a certain amount of love
and when you look at me
from across the room
as you are walking up
predatorily
i can feel the mercury
racing up
some arbitrary tube
and busting
when your lips crash into mine
i really don’t know
why
and honestly
i don’t question it too often
because
to me
you will always be
that shooting star
an unexplainable thing of such beauty
the one that happened so
unexpectedly
that i couldn’t even speak a word
or tell those around me to look up
because when i finally get out a
did you see that? 
i realize that it
–and you–
were meant only
for me

February 2, 2017

honesty

let me be honest
it’s not that i do not have the words
and it’s not that
my eloquence leaves me
when you are near
because of all the things
that confuse me
in this world
my love for you
is not one

rather
my feelings for you
are bursting with all of the words
that we’ve dared not speak
and perhaps a few
that don’t yet exist
so my lips will continue
to kiss the unspeakable
and the unwritten
adoration
over and over
on every inch of your skin

 

February 1, 2017

sober

today
i am sixteen days sober
sixteen nights have passed
that i haven’t tasted your lips
sixteen mornings that i haven’t
felt your fingertips tracing and my skin
my body continues to shake
and i am covered in sweat
aching for what i miss
proving only that
you are stronger than any drink
sweeter than any drug
and i would gladly trade in this
sobriety chip
for even the tiniest taste of you

 

December 31, 2016