i take it back

which i love you
was it
that broke us?
what day did i say it
one too many times?
i wish i could figure out
which one
marked the beginning
of the end for you.
was it the one i whispered
while you kissed up my thighs?
or was it the one i said
through a smile
(like an idiot)
too confident
because you had just called me
beautiful.
which kiss
sent you over the edge?
was it the one where I grabbed you
too tightly,
or maybe when i
too eagerly
pulled you back into me?
which look did i hold too long?
and which part of my soul
did i bare too openly?
that whole thing about hindsight
being twenty twenty
is bullshit,
because
hard as i try,
and as often as i
rewind every word
and replay every kiss,
i can’t pinpoint the one
that made you
stop loving me.

 

December 18, 2019