what i mean

when i say i like the sound of your voice
what i mean is your baritone chuckle
rumbles through my bones
like the distant thunder
in a summer storm
sticky and sweet
clinging to my skin

when i say i miss you
what i mean is without you i forget color
i no longer taste the bubblegum sunrise
my garden
which was once a candy sprinkle kaleidoscope
is now painted in shades of gray

when i say i want you
what i mean is my tongue craves the salt of your skin
like a mouthful of ocean water
i drink you in
and only want more

when i say i need you
what i mean is that i can never remember how to exhale
my breath caught in my throat
swallowing i love yous
and choking on the thick air of your absence

when i say i love you
what i mean is like a needle pointing north
you are my way home
through thickets and winding roads
you are worth the scratches and blisters
your smile is my welcome mat

 

April 9, 2019